What is confidence for you?

confidenceConfidence yah,

Well, this is from me, the things that shape my view might be different from yours

Confidence is several things:

1. Is a trait that allow self value without attachments
Why am i valuable? why do i deserve great things in life? why do i deserve to have hopes and dreams? Confidence sums up the right answer to this question.

The question of “what’s my self value” is core, so core, to our being that human spend considerable effort to establish their value.

Unfortunately, some people place the basis of this value on ridiculous things.
“i’m high value because i’m smart”
“i’m high value because i’m good looking”
“i’m high value because i have money”
“i’m high value because i have power and influence”
“i’m high value because i have a boyfriend”
ridiculous things no?
Why ridiculous?
a. these things are not inherent to the self, they can be lost.
b. it puts people on a rat race of comparing one self to the other

Now, what will person with confidence say about the source of his value?
“I’m valuable because i’m me”

(some christian would say, “hey that’s wrong, you should say “i’m valuable because of Jesus” ok, i agree with them, but it doesn’t help those who are not christians)

2. Is a trait that allow hope and dreams to be remembered
All kids wanna grow up to be something big, but then they went to school and meet a whole lot of other humans, some or supportive, some are not.
Each subsequent years (especially adolescence ones) slowly eats their confidence and their dream.
By the time they grow up, many many people don’t even remembered what the child who was them, want from life
To not lose this, one needs confidence “yes, i know my dream, and i’m sticking to my dream, because i believe that i can do this, despite insurmountable circumstances and improbable odds”

3. is a trait that defends hope and dreams
Society exerts peer pressure to its members, the intensity might be different in different communities, but the pressure to conform and follow the group perspective exist.

In rural society this comes in “sudah tradisi”, “hidup udah ada yang atur”, etc
In more urban society this comes in “cool”, “stylish”

It doesn’t mean that this pressure is bad, the pressure is just there, neutral.
A person whose value are in sync with the values of his community “i like to be stylish” would appreciate and feel no pressure from this community, it’s like a fish being placed into water won’t complain about water pressure

but dreams are generally out of sync with any society, chasing dreams are a damn hard thing to do, requires bravery, persistence, self discipline. Any monkey that dares to chase his dream are claiming that he’s better than many, not good.

then in the midst of this pressure to let go and conform, how do you defend your hope and dream?
why, with confidence off course, again “i believe i can do/achieve this, i’m on par with anyone good enough to do/achieve this”

What is confidence?
Confidence is the sum/ end result of placing my self value on things that are unchangeable
Confidence is then used as a tool to remember and defend hopes and dreams

I hope when i’m done participating in the huge drama called life, i can say “i have no regrets on not doing this or that, i’ve worked my hands on my dreams. Wasn’t perfect, but i leave no stone unturned”


A really really nice shoe

weston-437-blkThere’s a story about a man that wants a really-really nice shoe

so, this guy already had a shoe, a nice one, people say to him “wow, you have a nice shoe”.

really, anyone who meet this guy thinks that his shoe is nice

but you know what, we humans right, we want more, so is this guy

he passed a nice shoe store specializing in really really nice shoes, like, shoes that are custom made to your feet size, you can choose the materials for the external layers, you can choose materials for the interior lining, you can choose the accessories you’re going to put on that shoe, you can choose the design, and the staff give you honest opinion on whether your option would look awesome or norak (there’s no translation of this word in english, it means something like “a ridiciliously bad taste and showing off this bad taste in public view”)

man, those shoes are really really nice

now, he already has his nice shoe,

but since he saw the really really nice shoe, he thought to himself, “wow, i wish i could have those really really nice shoe (ok, writing all these really really nice shoe is quite tiring, so i’m just gonna abbreviate them RRNS for Really Really Nice Shoe)

now he begin to notice people who wear RRNS, and he felt “man, i wish i could have those”,

now it seems everywhere people are wearing RRNS

and you know what, he did the worst thing he can do.

Do you know what the worst thing he can do?

go ahead, make a guess, it’d be fun

He look at his nice shoe, and he think they suck

why? because his nice shoe, are not RRNS

he feels bad about himself, i mean, everyone arounds him now seem to be having RRNS,

come one, why is he the only one with only a nice shoe

he thinks about his nice shoe and why they’re not really really nice shoe day and night, day and night

more and more people around him have really really nice shoe

others around him say “but you already have nice shoe”

he nodded but silently says “yeah, you wouldn’t understand, i really want a really really nice shoe.

I know my nice shoe is nice, but now i know about the beaty and comfort of a really really nice shoe, i simply cannot think of my nice shoe as nice anymore”

so he set his heard, “enough to this unjustice, life is not fair, how come i cannot get a really really nice shoe”

so he got ouf of his house, his mind filled about having this really really nice shoe, he move past out his door,

he walk through the sidewalk, people are bustling jostling around him, why can’t they let him be with his thoughts

he walk accross the streets, his mind was so filled he didn’t see a car from his left

shrieeeeekkssss, the car stops in time, barely, barely touching him

angry but relief at the same time, but thoughts filled with his shoe, he keep moving, more people walking the street he’s in why is this street so packed, why can’t just let me be and with my thoughts of my really really nice shoe

oh, those sweet really really nice shoe, if he only have that, he’d be free from his sadness, free from worries

so he continues walking, thinking about his really really nice shoe, thinking about how unfair it is for him not to have a really really nice shoe

yes he has a nice shoe, but can’t God, his family, his friends, gets it? he wants a really really nice shoe,

if only one of them help him out, he’d be free and happy and joyful again,

if only he can leave his nice shoe for a really really nice shoe

then he see someone that has no leg

Speak out loud, while being hidden in the crowd

facebook wall post, twitter page. hm…some people say that indonesian are shy and all.

but looking at fb wall and twitter, i don’t think so, i think we really like to speak up and be noticed.

fb and twitter have the tool (your friend network) …to generate enough chatter so we can speak out loud while being hidden in the crowd at the same time