Well, this is from me, the things that shape my view might be different from yours
Confidence is several things:
1. Is a trait that allow self value without attachments
Why am i valuable? why do i deserve great things in life? why do i deserve to have hopes and dreams? Confidence sums up the right answer to this question.
The question of “what’s my self value” is core, so core, to our being that human spend considerable effort to establish their value.
Unfortunately, some people place the basis of this value on ridiculous things.
“i’m high value because i’m smart”
“i’m high value because i’m good looking”
“i’m high value because i have money”
“i’m high value because i have power and influence”
“i’m high value because i have a boyfriend”
ridiculous things no?
a. these things are not inherent to the self, they can be lost.
b. it puts people on a rat race of comparing one self to the other
Now, what will person with confidence say about the source of his value?
“I’m valuable because i’m me”
(some christian would say, “hey that’s wrong, you should say “i’m valuable because of Jesus” ok, i agree with them, but it doesn’t help those who are not christians)
2. Is a trait that allow hope and dreams to be remembered
All kids wanna grow up to be something big, but then they went to school and meet a whole lot of other humans, some or supportive, some are not.
Each subsequent years (especially adolescence ones) slowly eats their confidence and their dream.
By the time they grow up, many many people don’t even remembered what the child who was them, want from life
To not lose this, one needs confidence “yes, i know my dream, and i’m sticking to my dream, because i believe that i can do this, despite insurmountable circumstances and improbable odds”
3. is a trait that defends hope and dreams
Society exerts peer pressure to its members, the intensity might be different in different communities, but the pressure to conform and follow the group perspective exist.
In rural society this comes in “sudah tradisi”, “hidup udah ada yang atur”, etc
In more urban society this comes in “cool”, “stylish”
It doesn’t mean that this pressure is bad, the pressure is just there, neutral.
A person whose value are in sync with the values of his community “i like to be stylish” would appreciate and feel no pressure from this community, it’s like a fish being placed into water won’t complain about water pressure
but dreams are generally out of sync with any society, chasing dreams are a damn hard thing to do, requires bravery, persistence, self discipline. Any monkey that dares to chase his dream are claiming that he’s better than many, not good.
then in the midst of this pressure to let go and conform, how do you defend your hope and dream?
why, with confidence off course, again “i believe i can do/achieve this, i’m on par with anyone good enough to do/achieve this”
What is confidence?
Confidence is the sum/ end result of placing my self value on things that are unchangeable
Confidence is then used as a tool to remember and defend hopes and dreams
I hope when i’m done participating in the huge drama called life, i can say “i have no regrets on not doing this or that, i’ve worked my hands on my dreams. Wasn’t perfect, but i leave no stone unturned”
Filed under: Social commentary |