Marriage is a place for a couple of men and women to practice God’s Love.
They practice first to each other and they are so blessed, to their children.
They do this practice by engaging in 3 acts:
1. Acts of love
2. Penyerahan hak (surrendering your rights)
3. Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5: 22 -23 – 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.)
A couple need all 3 acts for their marriage to be complete.
Acts of love means things that you do to show that you consistently love him/her.
For men, that would mean praising your wive for the simple things she do, telling her that you love her, provide for her
Surrendering your rights means giving up what was your right, due to your marriage commitments.
For example, I may think or believe that I have a right over my own desires, but as I enter marriage commitment to my wife, I am surrendering this right to fulfill my desires to only one person, my wife.
Another example, my wife might believe that before she is married, she has the right to feel being love and desired by any men she wants to, but after she entered a marriage commitment with me, she gave that right to being love and desire to only one man, me.
The concept of surrendering your rights might sound alien to western cultures, especially Americans, maybe that’s why so many American marriage is f*ck up.
But this concept is very important, for this is the component that signifies exclusivity in marriage. Imagine a marriage with acts of love but surrendering of rights, such marriage cannot be called marriage in the real sense of the word (yes, it imply there’s a real definition of marriage, and fake ones) for there’s no exclusivity. In such marriage, the meaning of the marriage promise and the ring become void.
The third component is Fruits of the Spirit. This is the bind that gives marriage the wonderful flavor that would allow man and women to understand God’s love.
Having Acts of Love and Surrendering of Rights without Fruits of the Spirit is like having a wonderful dish made by an Michelin chef, yet the chef forgot to put any seasoning to the dish.
For example: I bring my wife flowers as an Act of Love, and surrendering my rights, I remain faithful to her, yet when I gave the flower, I speak with harsh tones, failing to show gentleness. Now, my faithfulness and Act of Love lose the wonderful flavor it suppose to have.
So marriage is, a place for men and women to practice God’s love to each other and their children.
This practice help them to draw nearer to the image of Christ.
They practice by:
1. Doing Acts of Love
2. Surrendering their rights
3. Displaying Fruits of the Spirit